New beginnings

Monday, December 11, 2006


Birthday Blog

To hold the same views at 40 as we held at 20 is to have been stupefied for a score of years, and take rank, not as a prophet, but as an unteachable brat, well birched and none the wiser.

-Robert Louis Stevenson

Monday morning FIRST THING her time, my dear friend NF called from Vegas to wish me a happy birthday. This lovely lady and I have been friends since, well, for over 25 years. We survived high school together ( 7th grade roller-skating party!!) , overcame some adolescent angst, and served as ladies in waiting for each other; even though life has put us in vastly different places, we remain vital support staff to the other. It was so lovely to hear her voice, particularly as it's been a hard enough year that she has the right to be more than a little discombobulated.

I have had many amazing friends over the years and although some have gone on different paths and the friendships ended, I have been affected by all of them. I had a friend for many years; we introduced the other to such diverse music, books, travel, ideologies that we evolved under the care of the other. I look back at that friendship and although I still mourn its necessary passing, I am grateful for all that it was, positive and negative.

At 40, I have attained a place in my own life where I know what serves me, what I need to sustain my spirit and psyche, and what I do not. I used to think that friendships persist - particularly the intense and long-term ones - but I have come to realize that although we may travel the same road as beloved companions for a time, there are no guarantees. We all change and grow or we stultify and get stuck. I am not the same person I was when I lived with my parents at 20 - thank GOD! - I am a more congruent, self-aware and happier soul. How many times do we need to be hit over the head with the same two by four to learn the lessons? Pitfalls and missteps have helped shape me and I am a much more attentive student to the lessons around me!

I feel as though I am well-equipped by lessons learned. I have tremendous friends both near and far who challenge and support me, who respect me, share chocolate martinis with me and make me laugh.

I spent my day with a true friend and kindred spirit. She spoiled me, gave me hysterical books and chocolate and took me out to lunch. Later, my kids gave me cards, and my husband took me to one of our favorite restaurants where we all chatted about ritual and how important it is to acknowledge significant moments to better understand ourselves. Then they threw cake at me. Forty feels great.

1 Comments:

  • At 4:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Happy Birthday, my friend. I'm glad it was a good one.

     

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